The Ego gets a very bad rap. It’s degraded by the media, trolls, pretty much everyone. It’s as welcome as a warty toad with a crown. They still don’t like it. It is however vital to life.

MR. TOAD, ON THE WILD RIDE

Human life requires it, just as good cannot exist without evil. Nobody wants to believe this, but it seems true. The ego is a survival instinct, it wants you to have the best of everything, be the best. A healthy ego does not view narcissism as a desire to have. That is a fallacy. To deny you have an Ego is to deny your humanity. My Ego is damaged severely. Just a fact, I know it, you know it, we all do. So how do I fix it? What I have been doing has not seemed to fix me, though I admit it’s getting better. Trolls out there keep attacking me, bullies, hiding behind pseudo-spiritualism-fake-goodness, they tell me I have too big an Ego, and are nasty about it. They say horrid things to me, tell me (for what reason they do not say) that I am going to fall hard. How can I fall when I have been laying in the dirt where the world kicked me eons ago? I cannot go any lower, I did it. I fell hard already! I am the lowest of the low, and I know it.

If this is a dream, The Matrix, as I think it is, what can I do to heal my bruised psyche from the damage you inflicted on me, and me too, I am not blameless in the least! But it’s broken, hurt, and I need to be fixed. So what is a remedy for a broken Ego? Pretty clothes? Nope, does not work. Material things? No, tried that. People smiling and chatting? No, I get leery quickly and my Trust is not broken, it left the building. Romance? Not a chance. No interest whatsoever in that charade. I will laugh, and not ever remotely let you near me or my skin or my beloved Ego. It’s not you, it’s definitely me. I am not even a creature like that any longer it seems, morphed into blahdom and quite content to be such. I belong to something, someone supernatural. 

Nothing I can do is enough, this must come from someone higher than me, and I love that, because there is no worse feeling than thinking like there is nobody above you, as who will help you up, if your it? My faith is so deep that I know I have someone, I just do not know what or who or why even? Why would they love me when I am covered in mud?

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